I saw “No Strings Attached” this weekend with Ashton Kutcher and Natalie Portman. Disappointing would be an understatement. I think it qualifies as one of “The Worst Movies” I have ever seen. But there is a bright spot to the movie. It just has nothing to do with the acting, writing or production. The main character Emma, played by Portman, has something few female characters do. Watch this clip and see if you can figure it out. No sound is needed.
Yes, Portman has a flat chest. Why does it feel like she is the only actress left in Hollywood who is short on cleavage? Pause for a minute and see if you can name a celebrity who you would consider to be light on top? I seriously racked my brain trying to come up with other movies or TV shows where the leading ladies aren’t a C or D cup. It probably doesn’t help that I just watched the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills Reunion. It’s like a boob bonanza.
I watched about 3 hours of TV this weekend and all the grown-up female characters were stacked like a good ol’ library. And yes, this time I was counting. From Diane Lane in Killshot to Beyonce in Dreamgirls. Think about what you watched over the weekend. Does anything stand out in the cleavage department?
So I decided to google flat chested celebrities. Not because I am a perv, but because I wanted to see if my perception is close to reality. TMZ actually has an entire photo gallery dedicated to flat chested women. At least two of the women featured, Jennifer Anniston and Kate Hudson may have had work done since.
Gwyneth Paltrow, Debra Messing, and Cameron Diaz also made the TMZ flat chest gallery. Maybe it’s creative wardrobing or camera angles, but for some reason,when I saw their movies, it didn’t stand out to me that they were lacking upstairs.
Then there is the magic of computer imaging. Just ask Keira Knightley.
In a 2006 interview, she explained what you see on posters and magazines isn’t real. Producers always make computer generated enhancements like this.
Knightley says despite her disdain for this false advertising, it’s the way the industry works. ”I don’t have any tits, so I can’t show cleavage. But you’re not actually allowed to be on a magazine cover in the US without at least a C cup because it turns people off.”
So is Hollywood in cahoots with plastic surgeons? Everything you watch feels like a big ad for fake boobs. It’s cleavage everywhere. And for those of us who are flat as pancakes, it’s hard not to watch and want. I am not going to lie. I bring up a boob job at least once a week at my house. I don’t think I would ever actually do it, but it sure is fun to dream about how much better some of my dresses and tops would fit. And why is it that I think I would be sexier with a bigger chest? I blame the media for how it portrays sexy every day.
And it’s not like I could eat healthier and workout more and “bam” have more bountiful breasts. You can’t just grow bigger boobs, you have to pay for them. The only organic way to go up in cup size that I am aware of, is to get pregnant and breastfeed. But those Double D’s don’t last. Just as god giveth. God Taketh away. Yes, I lived it.
This blog is a plea to Hollywood to feature more leading ladies of the flat kind and to keep it real. Portman’s character is a step in the right direction.
Please “like” and share this post if you’re with me. Hollywood can help make “Flat, Flirty & Fabulous”.