Mom and Dad debate if a 12 year old should have a cell phone.
Image by johnmuk via Flickr
Mom is for. Dad is against. It’s been this way since the topic of cell phones first came up about 3 years ago. Up until now, my oldest son, now 12 and half, has been totally fine with not having a cell phone. In fact, he has been going around telling other kids why he doesn’t like cell phones.
- All everyone does is text stupid messages
- When he gets together with friends, they just focus on the phones instead of each other
Then last night for the first time, one on one with me, he asked for a cell phone. I believe he is one of the last, if not THE last, of his 7th grade friends who still doesn’t have one. National statistics show a majority of kids have cell phones by the time they are 12 or 13. And this survey is from 2009. It’s now 2011.
I asked my son last night, “Why the change of heart about a cell phone?” He said, “girls at school have started asking for his number”.
I gently brought up the subject with my hubby this morning, saying I think it was finally time to get our son a cell phone. His immediate reaction was “Why does he need one? We didn’t need cell phones when we were growing up?”
In my opinion, times have changed in 25 years. Just because the technology didn’t exist then, doesn’t mean your kid should have to live in the past. There are countless luxuries we had growing up that our parents didn’t have when they were kids like TVs, VHS players and Microwaves. Our parents survived without all of those inventions, but recognized they needed to live in the present. Life evolves. I feel the same way about this cell phone deal. I believe learning how to use a cell phone responsibly is part of growing up these days.
I am not saying you should get a cell phone for your child the minute they ask for it. My 5th grade son has been asking for a cell phone for 6 months straight because several of his classmates already have them. However, my husband and I both agree, he can wait.
It’s been so different with our older son. I feel like his dad brainwashed him into thinking cell phones were evil. Then last night, when he so politely expressed interest in getting a cell phone, it actually made me happy that he was finally coming around. If you ask me, I think cell phones are a great learning tool that can help kids develop better communication skills. The ability to network is one of the best gifts you can give a kid.
I promised my son last night I would do my best to convince dad that he had earned the privilege of carrying a phone. He had a great report card. Not to mention he gets up every morning on his own and gets himself ready for school. He makes his own breakfast and lunch and is very quiet so he doesn’t wake the rest of us up. And the best part is, he leaves us notes. Here are a few samples.
He is showing responsiblity by taking care of himself every morning. And I am proud of him. Hopefully, this blog will convince my husband that it’s time to get his oldest a cell phone, and that it’s not such a bad thing.
I think the hardest part might be figuring out what phone? What plan? So many choices. Anyone have any suggestions if mom and dad are both on Verizon? What has worked for you?
Brody needs a cell phone..if he can manage to get up on his own accord, make his breakfast, and lunch, he certainly is mature enough to have a phone! I have a plan for unlimited texts and unlimited minutes for 9.99…quit being such a scruge brother!
Auntie Andrea.. I am going to have to get more details about this 9.99 plan. Thank you for your support!!
so… my son got a phone at 9. Yes 9. I was very against it – thinking why would a 9 year old ever need a phone? He is never without a parent around to need it… then came swim team…. we used the cell to get him on swim team… dont miss a single practice for the year and you will get one – but yes, there was a catch. Budget is 5 bucks a week. Anything over is on his bill. I got a great package with free calls to me and dad – but anything else he has to manage and budget. Having a cell has taught my son so much about responsibility its amazing. I must say he does not use it much – we use it to send him messages more than he uses it for his own affairs… then again – he is 9.
Next year he will probably get an upgraded phone and his sister will get his phone…. we live in the real time world – not the same place we grew up in.. I agree with you – and it sounds like you have an adorable son. I want notes. 🙂
Thanks Michelle. There are so many options, it’s unbelievable. I like the budget idea and the thought of more flexibility and more freedom with the phone as they get older.
Hi Iryanis. I can’t get my teenage kids to carry them. My son started with one a couple years back when the girls started asking his number, but he really isn’t that chatty so it never took off. My daughter says she spends enough time with people at school that she just wants peace and quiet when she gets home. I know. I don’t know where they came from, either. Personally, I say give kids a cell phone with prepaid minutes so they can’t surprise you on the bill, and maybe it will help them learn to manage a budget. Thanks for your post. All the best.
Piper, sounds like you have awesome kids who appreciate peace and quiet. I wish my boys did. Will definitely explore the prepaid approach. Thank you.
I think Brody should have a cell phone but some parental perameters should be set in place! Get good advice from other responsible parents whose children already use them! Baa Baa
Our son got a cell phone for his 12th birthday. We included a “contract” between him, Dad and me. It spells out things such as: you must answer calls or texts from Mom or Dad; no use at meal time or in church; it stays in the kitchen after 9 p.m. weeknights; we will give him two warnings before taking it away as a consequence for bad behavior or breaking contract rules; etc. You can Google for a kid cell phone contract and find a format you like. I’m sure we’ll hear all about it when Brody gets a phone!
It seems you’ve got a great kid with a reasonable head on his shoulders who’s now requesting a phone based on a careful consideration of the utility, rather than just wanting to be like his peers. I hope this post achieves your aim of convincing the husband. I’m pretty sure this will be a point of contention some decade in the future when my as-yet-unconceived children request a phone, and my Luddite husband (who still refuses to carry one himself) figures he grew up just fine without it.
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I’m 12 and a half too, and I don’t have a cell phone. ALL my friends do, and it’s just annoying how I can’t call my parents or anything after after-school activities.My parents even let me walk home without a phone or any way of contacting somebody. They won’t loan me theirs, they use it too much. How do I get one? I’m pretty responsible (I get up on time, make my bed, my room is always clean, I even had a 4.0 GPA ALL YEAR. I got three awards this year.) They didn’t even get me anything. (Not that I expect it.) How do I get one. Please help.
You sound like a super responsible kid. Congats on your 4.0 GPA. That is an awesome achievement. Also way to go with your chores at home. I’m sure your parents appreciate it. All I can say is keep it up and continue to show respect for your parents’ decisions. And I know it’s hard, but be patient. Sometimes you get what you want when you least expect it. Please follow up and let me know how it goes.
well im twelvee i did those tings and i lost my phone!
i don’t have a phone but i really want one