Kids and Facebook! What they don’t know will hurt them.
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The internet is a powerful machine. It’s almost like a car, that requires training and a license before you are allowed to drive. Okay, maybe that’s a little extreme, but I worry that young adults (preteens and teens) don’t realize the possible consequences for what they write on-line.
I think about the “what ifs” for hours sometimes before I hit publish on a blog. Do I really want to share this? What are the implications?
I don’t think our children have enough foresight to see how their quick comments or posts today could come back to haunt them tomorrow. Whether it’s college applications or job searches, whatever you put on the world-wide web, decision makers can find it, if they choose to look.
Both of my boys, ages 11 and 12 are on Facebook. Thankfully, I have a good friend who helps police what they say. A couple of times she has called to alert me of comments she feels could be misconstrued and considered inappropriate. I know she worries about being the so-called “bad guy” but I am so grateful that she takes the time to closely look at what they are writing and the context.
When we talk to our kids about it, we explain that although you didn’t intend for the comment to come off this way, here is how it could be perceived. They seem to get it. At least, we are having the dialogue.
Something else that came up just this week is, WHO is able to see what you are writing. I had the unpleasant experience of receiving a spam email from one of my son’s friends. Most adults realize it is spam and hit delete. However, the spam email went to dozens of students, mostly 5th through 7th graders, and they all had to reply to it. Those replies came directly to my inbox. A couple of those responses were really nasty.
Neither of the two boys who wrote those responses are my friends on Facebook. Needless to say, I still saw what they wrote. My initial reaction was to alert the principal at my son’s junior high and suggest the school help educate children how to be smarter about social media. My husband said “Isn’t that the parents job?”. I do agree parents need to reinforce and teach, but with social media being such a popular way for kids to connect, I feel it might be time schools also got involved. Maybe it’s a speaker who comes in once a year to talk to the student body. Much like the DARE program warns students about the dangers of taking drugs, I also think schools need to warn students about the dangers of sharing on websites like Facebook. Maybe schools are already doing this and I don’t even know it.
I realize some might say, your child shouldn’t even be on Facebook. That’s maybe why Facebook has age restrictions, that we all seem to be ignoring. But we just can’t ignore the fact that more and more children are engrossed with communicating with their friends on-line.
What do you think? Does your school do anything special? Do you think they should? Or is this fully a parent’s responsiblity?
I very much agree with what you have written but then, I am an older person. I do believe that schools need to do some education in this area just as they are doing re bullying. This is just a form of verbal abuse and bullying.
Lori… food for thought for certain! It is a big deal and words are one of our most powerful resources. Technology changes in moments and all is very complex. I am embarking with my family to a new town in Minnesota.. the Catholic 7-12 grade where our daughter will be attending in 2012 gives each student an Apple laptop and they are able to have a fb page that is monitored by the school. Their philosophy is that these kids need to be ready when they head off to college with the tech world… I will digest it all as we go along… but I am all for education in this arena through the school like DARE or something! This day and age it certainly does take a village to raise a child!
Heidi.. I think that’s so cool that the school gives each student a laptop. I would be curious to hear more about how the school monitors the kids facebook pages. Sounds very progressive.
I agree with two threads here: kids are already involved in Facebook and will need skills to navigate the technology world; and it takes all parts of the village to help kids learn to navigate appropriately. I am waiting to take a trainer class from the FBI Citizens Academy for their Cyber Safety program that teaches kids about staying safe online. Another good resource for parents is the free booklet, “Net Cetera, Chatting With Kids About Being Online,” available at http://www.bulkorder.ftc.gov.
Separate issue: hope your phone stopped ringing! Another example of kids’ technology gone awry…
Kim.. Thank you so much for sharing the website. And I was impressed at 6th grade orientation because they did talk about social media and offered another website resource for parents. So at least they are trying to be pro-active.
Yes, underage kids really shouldn’t be on Facebook. The administrators are even beginning to crack down more, and are kicking more kids off of the site. But like you said, social media is big with kids, and they will find something to get involved in even if it isn’t Facebook. Schools should have some kind of program like you are describing. Learning the ins and outs of online behavior is extremely important these days. If they have web design classes and such in high school, why not have some kind of general class about online demeanor? Even middle school kids could benefit from something like that.
Hi Jeff… it’s a tough call, but do believe somehow schools need to be pro-active. I just went to Jr. High Orientation for my soon to be 6th grader and they talked about social media and shared a website for parents to use a resource. I definitely thought it was a step in the right direction.
Ideally, it’s the parents’ job but I think the schools have a place in this too (since not all parents will teach kids about this). I can see it in an English classroom: the power of language.
Interesting post. Making me think. 🙂
I try to reinforce to my boys, the words we use and how we put them together reflect who we are. Everyone is texting and emailing now. This makes writing skills more important for communicating than ever before. Would love to hear what you come up with for The Power of Language in the classroom.
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